she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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