How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
