if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Randomize
