Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
