my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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