Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
