Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize