kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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