dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
