I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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