Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
