Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
