Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My pussy is not your playground.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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