i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
