He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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