all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
