I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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