I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
