that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There r osticjed everywhere
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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