It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
