it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
