So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
