You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
another moral hangover. fuck.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
