Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ketchup is God's man juice
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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