sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
