.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
3 2 1 whiskey
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
