If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
