WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Girls should come with a carfax report
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
