your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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