I didn't shave. On purpose
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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