I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize