there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
