We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
