I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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