im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
