Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we're making bets on your personal life
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
