I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
