with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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