Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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