Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
