hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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