He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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