Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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