yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
