your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She said her name was "party"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
