it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
