Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
