I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
