You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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