i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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