is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
