just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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