I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i've created a new STD.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
