it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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