You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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