He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
