Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
