69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
