I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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