Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
